Lance is alive?

Yes I am. Barely, but yes, still breathing. Actually, I'm just really enjoying being home with family and friends. I just said that because it's basically you who read this and I like to brown nose. No that's not true. I like my family and friends whether or not they give me wonderful food or grab me in my inappropriate places (/me looks at a certain friend with the middle name Jerome and [insert Gary's middle name here]). So maybe I'll update this in the future with more of my personal thoughts. That may or may not be a good thing.

I'll be heading back to Thailand in late January of 2009 for 6-7 more months. I figure since all the airlines will be bankrupt by then I'll have to take a boat though and I'll arrive in late June and also contract scurvy on the slow journey. The sacrifices I pay to do accounting in another country. The 1s and 0s mustn't wait!

HOUSE!

New House - July 2008

I'm still alive.....I think

My water bill this month was 30 baht. That's less than $1.00 for an entire month's of city water. My electricity bill should only be around $10-15 a month. Not too shabby. Rent at my three bedroom house is just under $100 a month. Gotta love Thailand! Oh, and I moved into a house now...as you can imagine based on what I just said. This will be my final resting spot, tell visa do us part.

So every time I try to update this I find other things to do. How's that for procrastination. It's a very bad habit. To be honest, not a whole lot has changed and I suspect this will be the norm for quite some time. Despite living in a foreign country, life usually turns to routine. I get up and go to work like everyone else does. Only, I don't get paid for my work. But I also don't really have a boss. And by "don't really" I mean not at all. My former "boss" is leaving for the States permanently. But I like the freedom. I still enjoy what I'm doing which is always a blessing.

I'm living in a house now! It's nice to have a kitchen and my own bathroom and such. I don't have much stuff, but I've grown accustomed to not having much furniture and stuff on the walls. I actually have a few extra desks and things I don't even need. I bought the last owner's furniture. I think they gave me a pretty good deal on it all and I have what I need including a sweet washer AND spinner! Because who needs convenience when you have a sweet centrifuge that you can enrich uranium in. On a side note I'm selling nuclear warheads for $20 or 3 for $40.

Ants are going to be the death of me. In Thailand ants get into everything if you aren't careful. The fridge is safe and my silver food cabinet has special hoof-like things that have anti-ant powder and a water moat. It keeps them away, but if you leave food on the table or counter they'll be in it within a few minutes. When I get back to the States (hopefully in November) I'm sure I'll be puzzled at why people leave food out. My food preservation habits will be thoroughly ingrained at that point. So if I scream and lecture you about those feisty little ants please have grace with me. I've been through ant hell and back. But victory will be mine I tell you!

Also we don't have shower stalls in Thailand. You just run the water on the tile floor. So if I shower at your house be aware that I'm going to get your entire bathroom wet.

So that's about enough don't you think?

New Pictures are up! I'm still alive!

Picture Tour

Just a quick note......

....that last "informal" post was supposed to be taken lightheartedly. I'm not very serious about any of it. Okay, the disclaimer has now ended.

Informality

So Phil has inspired me to take this more informal, less politically correct.

So I'm in a mildly (meaning severely) sarcastic mode brought on by a shade of loneliness brought on by the severely (did I already use this word?) lacking number of single native English speaking males in Chiang Rai. I mean come on! It's not like I'm all about just hanging out with men....that sounds kind of....well....not right. Being single and surrounded by women is not all that it's cracked up to be. Okay, so that didn't help my case for being straight.

So with that I'll open up with a story from last DTS. I think several factors ignited this memory. Living with women and facebook, which I've now signed up for to play Risk vs. the reason most people join....to meet other people. Seriously, I can't believe women make up only 50 or 51% of the world population. In lance world it's like 75%-85%. Normally I wouldn't be complaining, but well see below.

So during DTS we had these small group times where we'd all share our feelings and deep interpersonal struggles in a group that totaled around TWELVE people. Small, no. Medium, maybe. Large, DING DING. We have a winner. So as you can imagine I wasn't such a big fan. So I was in a mildly (meaning severely) cynical mood. I usually kept on me a small fan which turned into my best friend during hot season. Fan's are glorious. Truly. I have one blowing on me right now.

So yea. Where was I? Please leave a comment to clue me in. So when it came to my turn to "share" I said something shallow, though convincing enough in it's personal-ness-ity to not arouse suspicion. See how cunning I am? I then turned my small glorious blue fan upon the girl sitting next to me. I asked her if she wanted some fan action for something like that. She then started crying and then walked out of the room. Wha? A simple no would have been fine. Was the cool breeze of a glorious blue fan that upsetting? I sat their petrified and feeling like a gigantic jerk.

So this story illustrates the minefield that is living with other semi-young women. So much to worry about. New cultures, other genders, personalities....and....well....ummm...."time of the month". Oh! I know why I thought of this story!!! It was a post I read on Phil's blog and then a reply from his wife. Oh, now it comes to me. So yea, the girl I upset was having her period and was super emotional. I was in an insensitive mood and hammer hit nail or fire hit fuse or whatever the expression is.

BOOM!

We latter hashed it out and I apologized and she said she was having her woman time and also apologized. I would now actually add her to my facebook profile if she had it (more on that latter).

So Aprils Fools Day came and went. I guess non-Westerners don't really know much about this day. They were kind of ticked off and just plain confused. I guess someone rang a bell at midnight and woke everyone up. That was a bit mean I'll admit. Someone also took everyone's right shoe. That made the tightly wound Philippino girl upset. Then the color of our hot water for coffee was blue, red, green. I personally liked this one. I would have made the color yellow though. (On a side note I never drank Mountain Dew in Alaska/up to age 9 because I thought it was pee.) Oh and they moved tables outside and hid someone's motorbike. Anyway, we had a big talk about it. And, no, I didn't do anything for April Fools. Kind of wish I had now though.

Okay, so this begins my first chapter in bizarre cultural practices (or is it practici). So when I talk with someone on a cellphone I go find a quiet/private spot to do so. Not so with Thais. Last night I saw this Thai girl sitting in the middle of an open area on base. Right in the open on the ground. I thought she was crying or something. This isn't the first time I've seen this. So I guess Thais find the nearest vastly open piece of real estate to talk on the phone in plain sight of everyone. Yes, I'm being a bit ethnocentric and mocking them a bit. I'm sure they do that same all the time with us "farungs". I mean...in the middle of a field? Seriously? Wouldn't a bench or a table do better? Hey, hold on a second....I have to take this call. Where can I find a huge lot of land? Soccer field? That'll have to do but I'd prefer a 200-acre wheat field.

Oh and today I was walking and all of a sudden two elephants whizzed by me. Did two giant elephants whizz right by me? By the look of their butts, yes. In all fairness they were in a truck....on a highway. 20 minutes later two more drove by with a few Thai men either sitting on their heads or something like that. By the way, elephant poop is the size of a watermelon. It could crush a small child.

Okay so we need more single men in the mission field or where ever you call where I'm at right now. We need less newly weds. So if you are just married please don't come to Chiang Rai. I rarely see guys who just got married here. The one single guy here is a Thai who doesn't speak much English (so he may have a girlfriend...EDIT yea, he's interested in this 19 year old DTS student...he's around my age of 27....ummmm). You can only hang out with girls for so long before you need to do guy things. I tried to get a game of poker going this weekend and ONE PERSON showed interest out of 35. Now we have a serious problem in Christianity when only 1 in 35 want to play poker. Maybe God will send me to Vegas to do missions work. I bet I could get a game there. It's really hard to get a game of basketball here too. Everyone's too busy or too tired.

Lately, instead of pulling my earbuds out of my ears I've left them in and unplugged the cord, leaving my headphones dangling while I go to the printer or something similar. Is that beautiful efficiency or terrible lazy?

Facebook

So almost lastly on this marathon post is my arrival on the facebook scene. I signed up solely to play risk with a (newly) married guy here (who I never see). This brings me to a hugely important personality trait. I'm not compatible with social networking sites. I don't care to make a lot of friends, but I want those I know to be very close. Facebook switches these things around. It puts a higher value on "knowing" many "friends" I'm not so sure what to do. On an unrelated note I just "tagged" Linnea Barton to my nazi bear. If you go to her profile and tagged pictures my nazi bear turns up. The interweb is serious business! I'm such a haxor.

So the nice part is I never knew how many friends I actually had. The downside is I don't really talk to these newfangled "friends". I wish they had a link to "accept as a provisional acquaintance". Maybe I should submit a comment to facebook, eh? So yea, I think I'll just let my new friend requests sit as pending until I come to a policy decision regarding this issue. I shall convene the board.

So I recently added this Thai girl I knew from my DTS. I talked to her enough to "accept" her as a facebook friend. I was also curious to what she was up to. No, not in that way! So then today another Thai girl sent me a friend request. The problem is I don't know who she is. Seriously. I think she could be this one girl I NEVER talked to during DTS. Very bizarre. Why hasn't Jesus come again yet? I mean, did he ever really want humanity to be faced with this type of dilemma? I don't think so.

Okay, so I forgot one last thing. Chances are you've stopped reading at this point and that is okay. If not you win a cookie. So a few weeks back I was visiting a DTS friend who's now working at an AIDS orphanage. There was a cook helping out and I started to ask the (female) cook small-talk kind of questions. I thought she was 21-23 range. So my questions were age appropriate. OOPS! The girl is only 16. I instantly felt like a creepy old man. It wasn't like I was asking if she was single or something, but it just felt weird. But then I didn't just want to instantly stop talking to her because that would look REALLY bad! So I gradually phased out the conversation. Crisis averted. Phewww! Oh the situations we get ourselves into and how we over think them.

So I'm a bit upset that I didn't bring my three homemade t-shirts. Not only do they fit well, one says "Turd Fergusen", "Bootastic Computers. Definitely not gay.", and Dusty Africanized. All in the name of trying not to offend! Maybe I'll have someone ship over these three shirts to me. I miss seeing Turd every 7th or 8th day.

Okay, enough...enough!

Thailand 2008 - New House & Motorbike Pictures & Big Animals

Thailand - Motorbike & 2nd House

First 2008 Thailand Post

Well some of this will be a repeat for some, but maybe, just maybe, you learn something different and that new knowledge will make you far more rounded and allow you to ascend to new heights.

So around February 26th I left the USA bent on seeing the world or at least seeing part of the world I had just seen 7 months ago. My airplane accelerated on the runway only to go back to the terminal. 30-45m later we found out that the elevator or the elevator indicator light wasn't working and we're going to try again. I suppose if an elevator isn't working the plane won't go up at all so I figure if we made it into the air all was okay. Given that fact that my clone robot is writing to you I guess you know how that story ended.

So to MSP I went and then to Tokyo. I boarded the plane to Bangkok only to be told we'd be moving planes as leaking dripping oil from one of two engines wasn't all that great for safety. Someone, who we shall call "Gary Hewlott", told me I should have stood up and yelled, "We're all going to die!" when we were still on the ground. I still get a chuckle over that for some reason.

So I made it to Chiang Rai. Thankfully, it was a cooler week (70s) so my transition from sub-0 F weather to sunny Thai weather wasn’t so bad. Now it’s starting to heat up for hot season so it’s hitting low 90s in the afternoon I think.

I was picked up and dropped off at a guest house/hotel 1/2 mile from the YWAM training center/base. This is the guest house with all the huge expensive animal statues, but no sink in the bathroom. I stayed there about a week and then moved into town to a nicer place. Due to a translation problem it ended up being $100/month more than what was originally said (supposedly). Oh well. But for now I’m at a real life house with a real kitchen, sink, and fridge, etc. It’s nice to be there. I’ll be staying there until mid-May and then I go back to the nicer hotel for 20 more days to finish out a one-month contract with them. It’s a bit complicated, but it works out in the end...I think. I’ll be moving into my own house in mid-June.

So what am I doing in Chiang Rai, Thailand?

I’m going to be doing the base accounting. I’ll be recording and helping out with budgeting and such. I’ll also help hand out cash where it’s needed and make sure things run smoothly from a financial standpoint. I know...super turbo extreme work. I wear a diaper to work each day ‘cause I just don’t know what’ll happen that day! Also, if anyone needs a quick loan in Thai Baht please let me know. Just kidding. That would be extremely irresponsible and a complete misappropriation of funds! (...offer still stands).

The base here is expanding it’s programs so they need a bit more accountability and tracking of funds as things become more complicated. In 2009 they’ll have a School of Biblical Studies and a healthcare school along with the regular Discipleship Training School. I’ll be helping to set up accounting systems for all these schools and getting everything budgeted out correctly. They want to be able to take out a "per diem" for each school to cover all the basics like food and electricity. We’ll take them out of the tuition fees and then they’ll only have to budget for speaker costs and specific school costs. I’ll handle all the accounting for that. Sounds fun, huh? But seriously, I do enjoy it and I’ve always like the business end of missions so it’s really been an answer to prayer. I wasn’t totally sure what I’d be doing when I came back so it’s a relief.

So far things have been going well here. I enjoy hanging out with the two English speaking DTS students. One is from France and the other from India. I just realized how weird that sounds to say the English students are from France and India. The guy from France is married and they are both coming over to my house this weekend to make me what I think is a French dish. I told them that it better not be French Fries because those are now called Freedom Fries and they can’t take our freedom any longer. No, I didn’t tell him that, but I wanted to so it counts, right?

It will be nice to finally settle into a house that is mine in June. However, I’m just not sure how much work there will be when the DTS or other schools are not in session (June-Dec). I’ll be playing that by ear. There is a big gap there. It’s hard to justify being someplace where you work four months out of the year. I could study Thai full-time in the "off season", but I’m not sure how long I want to stay in Thailand. No point in becoming fluent in a language you won’t use after a year. I’m thinking that maybe I’ll be here to help get the system up and running and then I’ll train someone else in. Then maybe go elsewhere and repeat. Rinse and repeat.

I have a heart to do some kind of sports ministry, youth mentorship like being DTS staff, business stuff like I’m doing now, helping less fortunate people setup small businesses, maybe work in an orphanage, maybe work in a refugee camp, or become a professional chocolate tester. You can see that I don’t have a shortage of passions. It’s the way it’s always been I guess.

But plans always change so who’s to say what will actually happen. I’m sure the Lord will guide me wherever I go.

Last Post Before Major Outreach

I uploaded some pictures from my trip to Chiang Mai and a garden in Northern Thailand.

We just finished up our last week of lectures. This coming week is a preparation week for our 5-week outreach to central Thailand (1-2 hours from Bangkok). I’ll be working on a farm and working with a sports ministry for the last two weeks.

I’m glad that lectures are completed. It was a great learning experience, but a LOT to process. It’s about time for a break for a week before outreach starts! It’s hard to describe all that this DTS has been for me. I’m not sure where to start....so I won't here. It's 2AM! I feel like I’ve learned so much in such a short period of time.

So what else. I think I’ve gained back a bit of weight from the two care packages that my friends and parents sent to me. Outreach should help me lose it again. I shaved my head. My hair was slowly leaving my head anyway. I might as well do it now and save everyone from my comb-forward. There is one last picture of me with hair on my head. The others with the hat are me adjusting to my new hair style (or lack thereof). I’m pretty much used to it now though. At first I was a bit freaked out. Okay, I will see most of you in 1-2 months!

Outreach #2 Pictures

Outreach #2 - Nan

Outreach #2 - Nan - No Plans

The second outreach I did here in Thailand was quite different than the first. For this outreach we had no plans. We knew the province we were going to, but that was it. We were going to go there and then pray and ask God where and what he wanted us to do in that province.

We got on a bus and 4-5 hours later arrived in Nan, Thailand. We got our stuff out of the bus and sat down and prayed for God to show us where to go. The word “Luang” came to me and some others felt God was telling them we needed to get on another bus and go somewhere outside of the initial town we arrived at. Luang turned out to be the name of a town only 45 minutes away, in the same province. We got a hotel in the city of Nan for that night. That night we prayed again and another person in our group felt I should lead the first full day of outreach. Each day was to be led by a student in the team and not by the leaders. My response was to jokingly say that I felt God was telling me to go last. I was quite nervous about leading a day and being responsible for making the decision of where to go or to stay in Nan. The next day we went prayer walking around Nan in the morning. After that we had an prayer time where we asked God when we should leave Nan or if we should stay. I got the work “bai mong.” I knew mong was a Thai word for time, but I didn’t know that “bai” was Thai for one. Bai mong was then 1 PM. Another student in our group also felt God was saying 1 PM. So I decided we should go to Luang at 1 PM!

We arrived in Luang and I decided to find accommodation in this tiny village first. We went to a restaurant and they said we could stay at their shack behind their place. We later found out that there were no hotels in this town and this restaurant was considered the best one in town. The Lord is faithful! We could have easily been stranded in the town with nowhere to stay. That night we met with the head of the town and she wanted us to put on an English camp for 5 days for the children of the village. They were very gracious in accepting us into their town. There were even two long-term missionaries in this town which the DTS leader, who was on our team for this outreach, just happened to know. He was previously unaware they were working in this remote area of Thailand. I don’t think this was mere coincidence to find these people. They were very helpful with the things we did in the area in the coming days.

So we taught English camp for 5 days. Twenty-five students showed up the first day, but by the last day over forty came. The last day of camp we asked if they would like to know Jesus more and many of them prayed with us. We also did prayer walking in the afternoons and talked to the local people, well the Thai’s did on our team. I went with them and got the conversations translated. Thai village people are very kind and welcoming!

We then went back to the city of Nan and talked to people on the street about Jesus and went to the larger hospital in Nan. We prayed for people in the hospital and I held very basic conversations with them when a Thai wasn’t around to translate.

Overall it was an amazing outreach where God showed how faithful he is. Several adults made commitments to Christ and a lot of the children we taught English to did. One of the leaders on our team prayed for two women who were then miraculously able to walk when they hadn’t been able to before. Both women decided to become Christians right then and there.

We went in not having any plans and just asking the Lord to guide us. God certainly did that. There were too many situations that worked out so well on this outreach for me to believe they were just mere coincidences.

Thailand Photos Part II - 42 Pictures

Thailand Part II

First DTS Outreach

I just finished my first outreach. We stayed at a place called Baan Nam Jai (Home of the Open Heart) for just under two weeks. I did jobs like moving dirt around, picking weeds, cleaning up a tool shed, weeding a garden, planting flowers, and the always easy office work. I’ll just run through schedule and make a few notes afterward.

6:30AM - Breakfast
7:00AM - Quiet Time/Reading my Bible
7:30-8:30AM - Worship or Prayer Meeting
8:30AM-12:30PM - WORK TIME!
12:30-1:30PM - Lunch
1:30-3:30PM - Office Work/Teaching English
3:30-5:30PM - Free Time
5:30-6:30PM - Dinner
We had two hours of team time in the evening after dinner. We also had different duties ranging from breakfast/dinner clean-up to laundry to planning team time at night.

The biggest news was that the “bamboo palace” fell down during our stay there. This was the place where the women slept and we all hung out. We noticed in the beginning that it was starting to lean. The foundation was just wood posts stuck into the ground. Ryan, the only other guy on the team, and I stayed in another building. We were hanging out in it when we noticed the tilting was getting REAL bad. We then managed to move out all the stuff, including a small refrigerator. About 10 minutes later it collapsed, just after we took a picture in front of it! It really felt like God was holding it up just long enough for all of us to get our stuff out.

The outreach didn’t feel like a ton of work. I only had to work four hours in the morning. The afternoon work time was mostly office work. It didn’t feel like we were “roughing it” since we were staying just outside Chiang Rai. We traveled the least amount of time of the outreach groups. Most of them headed out to remote villages.

I enjoyed the time with my fellow team members. They are all pretty cool and easy going. Our leader is a bilingual Thai woman. Our team consists of two Thai women, one Indian woman, one Malaysian woman, three Aussies (one guy), one American woman, and me. I hardly even notice all the different nationalities. At this point I’m very used to being in the minority. There is only one other American guy in our class of 34.

After outreach all the groups met at the top of a huge waterfall. And yes, I did go behind it! On the inside it felt like a torrential rain storm though. I could barely keep my eyes open. It was a lot of fun, albeit cold.

I’ll let the pictures do the talking.

DTS Happenings

It's kind of hard to describe since it's not a whole lot of "knowledge" but rather more internal things that are a bit personal.

But week one was on "intercessory" prayer which is letting God speak to you about what he wants you to pray for and then sharing these things with the group and praying for them. It's a bit different but very interesting to see what happens. During the last day we had the two speakers prophetically pray over us individually. I had this happen once before and both times have been very encouraging.

This week the speaker is talking about the nature (what he is) and character (what he chooses to be) of God. It's a lot of information to take in but it's been interesting. It takes a lot of time to process it all. But since the school is Bilingual the speed is 1/2 what is normal so I have time during lecture to think about things a bit.

DTS Homework

We have 5 pages of writing on various things we are learning that week in a journal. This includes a study of one Bible character per week. We also have one Bible verse to memorize each week. During the 6 months I also have to read 4 books and do 1 page book reports. Next week I have to do a 3-min. oral presentation on "patience".

DTS Schedule

DTS Schedule:

6:15 – Exercise and then shower
7:15 – Breakfast
7:30/7:45 – Quiet Time
8:15 – Studying a few verses in Proverbs
8:30 – Worship or Prayer Time
9:30-12:30 – Lectures
12:30 – Lunch
1:00-2:00 – Prep for teaching English
2:00-3:00 – Thai Class
3:00-4:00 – English Class (I teach)
4:15-5:15 – Mandatory/voluntary sports time
5:30 – Dinner
7:00-8:30 – Small groups or some activity
10:00 – Lights out (if I can get to bed by this time)

So as you can see, not much free time!!!!

Weekends are the only time to do homework.

Thailand Trip

Last Saturday I had the opportunity to go on a trip around the Chiang Rai province. The first place we went to was called Phu Chi Fa. It is the highest point in the area. It was quite foggy out but still a nice view. The peak had several rocky outcroppings.

The next place we went to was a pseudo-hill tribe village near Phu Chi Fa. It was a bit of a disappointment but still enjoyable. Next was an out-of-season flower business where the picture of the tulips comes from. It was a lot of walking for a few flowers. The last place was probably the highlight of the trip. I’m not sure the name of the waterfall. It was fun to hike around in the woods of Thailand above the waterfall. The one tree in picture must be at least 200-feet tall and 8-feet wide at the base.

Northern Thailand Trip Photos

On Saturday, February 3rd I was able to take a trip around the Chiang Rai province with a bunch of the other DTS students. We went to Phu Chi Fa, the highest point in the area, a waterfall, and a flower business (off-season though).

Thailand Trip

Thailand Part 2

See, now aren't you glad I didn't have to keep sending out mass emails?

I can't promise to be brief, but at least it's your call if you want my words to aid you in your procrastination.

Quick note: 35 baht = one US dollar

So my first meal in Chiang Rai.....

It was on Christmas eve and Godwin, a man volunteering from Malaysia, and his son invited me to go with them into town. He had picked a nice hotel restaurant to dine at. Well, nice was an understatement. He picked the best hotel in town. In the lobby were quite a few pictures of Asian higher ups. You can imagine how much the food cost. Now for comparison’s sake yesterday I had good sized plate of very tasty chicken fried rice (kaao put guy in Thai) for 20 baht/57 cents. A plate at the hotel cost 120 baht. An eight ounce coke cost 70 baht. I only know since my request for "cold water" was met with a brownish fizzy drink. I’m not sure how that happened. She would have heard at least “coke water” but my coke wasn’t watered down one bit. In fact, it had a lime in it! I’d hate to be the person that asked for a big piece of "rum cake." They’d be a bit tipsy afterwards I’m afraid.

Long story made longer.....585 baht/$16 later we finished up.....more than I would spend on a meal in THE US. Not to mention the 250 baht taxi ride. I don’t imagine I’ll be spending that much on a meal ever again here. My 20 baht rice was just as good as the 120 baht variety at the hotel.

Guess Their Age!

Guess Their Age